Posted on September 9, 2018
The last time I posted was March and I'm so shamed myself. I am so trash and I'm going to do better.
I normally try to post every year on my birthday, but I didn't this time. I turned 30 on May 21st.
I wanted to bring in my 30s right and get out of Cincinnati for once. My sister and I went to New Orleans. It was my first time there and it's such a beautiful, resilient city. The food, the people, the architecture, the history, the culture, all of it was amazing and I definitely plan on going back. It was hot as all get out, but I enjoyed my time there. It took a lot of long hours to be able to save for that trip, but it was worth it.
While we were riding around NOLA, my sister gave me a mini pep talk about being deserving and she said, "No buts!". Acknowledge who you are and what you are without any 'buts". Don't detract from what you've done. I really needed to hear that. I love my sister to death. No matter what happens, my sister has always been there for me. If nobody else understands me, I know she does and I thank God for her. I can go on rants about things I'm passionate about or vent about how frustrated I am and there's no judgment.
I'm not where I would like to be in certain aspects of my life, but this year hasn't been terrible. It's been a lot better than 2017 and for that, I'm grateful.
During the last couple of months leading up to my 30th birthday, I did some reflecting and made some promises to myself.
"Try not to get so overwhelmed that you get stuck and stop (I'm still working on that and it's so hard). Your time is coming. The same way you turned things around at 20, you will at 30 too. It's okay to be down sometimes, but you have a purpose. Some days you may think you know your purpose, other days you'll second guess it. It's all a process."
I started writing this post 2 months ago and I'm just now posting it because of self-doubt, stress from my wack job and so on. I'm so critical of myself about this whole writing thing that I don't even give myself a chance to just do it and let it go. Whenever I write, I feel better so I want to make an effort to do it more just because of that. Closed mouths don't get fed so I have to work on not having several posts sitting in my drafts for months at a time.
I even challenged myself and joined this Biggest Loser contest at work in an effort to hold myself accountable and actually lose weight for real this time. I'm trying to be fake skinny for my 31st birthday and I have 9 months to make that happen. We just had our first weigh-in on September 5 to get started. I'm still figuring out what I want to tweak in my diet and figure out the best way to incorporate fitness. I'll probably share all of that here and on social media, so be on the lookout for that.
I just wanted to let you guys know I'm still here like Tisha Campbell-Martin and I promise not to be gone for so long from now on.
Posted on March 19, 2018
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Aussie recently released their Miracle Curls line and I picked up the majority of the collection. CurlBox had 6 out of the 7 products from the line for $10, so I took advantage of the sale.
Note: The collection is sold out on CurlBox.com.
I’ve been using Aussie since 2010 so I’m no stranger to their products. I’ve been using the 3-Minute Miracle Deep conditioner and Hair Insurance Leave-In spray conditioner since I had relaxed hair in 2010 and my natural hair loves it too. The thing I love about Aussie is the bright purple packaging, the affordability of their products and the moisture it gives my hair.
The Miracle Curls line has 7 products:
· 3-Minute Miracle Deep Conditioner
· Leave-In Detangling Milk (This is the only product I don't have.)
Labels: Beauty, Hair
Posted on February 11, 2018
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Does your skin feel tight after washing your face? Do you get flaky in the fall and winter months? Have you tried organic ingredients in hopes of combatting the dryness and nothing works?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, join the club!
I decided to try high-end skincare products for the first time in 2015 and my skin has improved so much since then.
It's hard to figure out what works best for your dry skin when it seems like everything is geared towards the oily/combo girls.
If you have dry skin and haven't been able to get a routine down that works, don't fret! Sometimes it may be the products you’re using or your routine needs to be tweaked.
Labels: Beauty, Lifestyle
Posted on November 21, 2017
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Well, today marks the countdown to 30. I'll be 30 in exactly six months and I'm ready.
My last post was a little after my birthday and I've been through a lot in 2016 and 2017 and I just couldn't bring myself to dedicate time to this space once again.
I wouldn't call my rut "writer's block". I'm extremely critical of myself and I get in my own way. I'll have an idea just to shut it down in the next breath because it's not good enough. I don't like to get too personal about my struggles online, but being stressed, depressed and sometimes anxious can really take a toll on you. You can have all the ambition in the world and plans to execute your vision, but those feelings can stop you dead in your tracks. I know I'm not alone and I don't want anyone else to feel like they're alone.
Posted on May 30, 2017
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I can't stand my job. The thought of being there stresses me out once Sunday night rolls around or an extended weekend is coming to an end. Since this month is Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share some of the things I do to relieve stress in hopes of helping someone else.
Take a personal day.
My mom calls them, "mental health days". I keep my PTO stacked for days when I just don't feel like being there. I like to extend my weekends when we have paid holidays too. There's nothing wrong with taking a day off to sleep in or get things done that you normally wouldn't have time to do. I had a mini meltdown a few weeks ago on a Sunday night and I made the executive decision to call in that Monday. I just needed an extra day to gather my thoughts and relax. Working a full-time job is already stressful, but working a job that you don't like or having to work overtime can be taxing. Save up that PTO for a rainy day!
Labels: Awareness, Lifestyle
Posted on May 21, 2017
Today marks the last year of my 20s and I’m still trying to
figure out where the time went.
Yesterday morning I didn’t want to be bothered or go out.
After reflecting on my last eight birthdays, I felt like I had squandered them
away. I haven’t had any extravagant birthday bashes or trips, but I’ve grown a
lot over the last eight years. Looking back on my 20th birthday all
the way up to today reminds me how far I’ve come. 2008 seems so long ago, but
it feels like I just turned 25.
After being in my feelings, I had to remind myself that
there’s no timeline on life. You won’t have it “together” at age 25 and you
won’t have it all figured out at 29 either.
I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I have another
chance to work towards it. Extravagant birthdays are nice, but lessons are
great too. I went into my birthday weekend thinking it was gonna suck because
of the rainy weather and it ended up being sunny today. I’m grateful for all my
friends and family who sent love my way today.
The last year of my 20s will be about me trying to become a
better version of myself as always. Eating more veggies, taking my ass to the
gym, not renewing a library book five times, ya know, little things.
So here’s to another year of growth, discovery and more life. 🌺. Sorry,
I had to do it. I love Drake and he just gets it. Deal.
Anyway, here’s to Year 29!
Labels: Discussion, Lifestyle, Misc
Posted on April 1, 2017
Five years ago, I was at my best friend's baby shower and one of
our high school friends asked, "Jaida, when are you having kids?" My
response was, "No time soon." She dismissed my answer and replied,
"Girl, that's what I said too." She was about three months pregnant
at the time. That was in 2011 and I was fresh out of college (three months, to
be exact). Fast forward six years later and my feelings haven’t changed.
We’ve been conditioned to think we’re “supposed” to get a college
degree, get married and have babies by age XX. I don’t want to have kids right
now and I’m not going to pretend I do because society says I should.
I'm at a place in my life where I'm still trying to figure things
out for myself. All of that goes out of the window once you become a parent.
I’ve literally been with my mother her entire adult life. She had me at 22 and
my sister at 25 so she had to figure things out pretty quickly. My parents didn’t
have a chance to fully focus on themselves until we were grown.
A lot of young people jump into parenthood when they’re not ready
and it ends up affecting them and their children. I wouldn’t want that for
anybody. Not only that, but I wasn’t put on earth just to become a mother. That
isn’t my purpose.
I’m having a hard enough time trying to figure my life out alone.
I couldn’t imagine throwing children in the mix. These are my years to be
selfish. I don’t have anybody depending on me. I don’t have to take childcare
and school districts into account when deciding where I’ll move next. As a
single, childless woman, I’m stable for the most part. Besides, there are
plenty of children in my life whom I can spoil and love on before sending them back
to their parents.
Women are not obligated to have babies. Stop asking women when and
if they’re going to have children. Some women do not want children. Some women
can’t have children. Stop forcing that responsibility on us. I’m lucky to have
parents who haven’t pressed the issue of wanting grandchildren. They understand
where I’m at in my life and they respect it. If you want random women to have
children so bad, go adopt a child in need of a loving home.
People don’t have to become parents due to some imaginary
deadline. Leave people alone and mind your business.
Labels: Discussion, Lifestyle
Posted on March 8, 2017
March 8th is our day on the calendar, but I make it a point to celebrate us year-around. We're a force to be reckoned with. Continue to shine. Continue to make your dreams come true. Don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Be fierce. Be soft. Be hard. Fight for what you want. Cheers to some of the women that I love and aspire to be like: Beyoncé, Solange, Viola Davis, Shonda Rhimes, Kerry Washington, Taraji P. Henson, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Janelle Monáe, Zendaya, Yara Shahidi, Aja Naomi King, Ciara, Cardi B, Jourdan Dunn, Jackie Aina, Jessica Lewis, Whitney White and many, many, many more! Girls are everything. Women are everything. I love us and you should too. If you want to see non-stop girl power, and a virtual collage of some awesome girlies, be sure to follow me on Tumblr.
Posted on August 13, 2016
So you’re done with high school and you’re starting college
in a week. I know you wanted to go away for school, but you have some maturing
to do. You’ll get to leave, I promise. You may feel stagnant sometimes and
things might get tough, but you’ll get through it. Besides, you’ll be busy as
hell three years from now in a totally different environment. All of this is
temporary. Just knock these prerequisites out and keep it moving.
Well, you did it. You graduated from college. You thought
the day would never come, but it’s here! You were a totally different person
when you came to TSU at 20-years-old, but you’ve learned valuable lessons and
made lifelong friends in the process. When you think of this place, think about
what it took for you to get here and never take it for granted. You gained much
more than a degree.
Even though you matured and learned a lot about yourself,
college was still a safety net. It’s gonna be scary and stressful trying to
figure out what’s next, but do yourself a favor and relax. Listen to Dad. He
may sound insensitive now, but you need to go home. You didn’t have a plan
mapped out for post-graduation so the best thing for you to do is go home. Go home
and enjoy not having to do anything for the first time in five years. You’ll be
able to eat home cooked meals again and the days of sleeping in an extra large
twin bed and dragging your clothes to the laundry room to
wash clothes are done! Appreciate the little things.
Be prepared for growing pains. Be prepared to feel lost.
You’re gonna argue with Mom and Dad because parents don’t get it. Take
everything as a lesson and apply it in the future so you know how to navigate
it or help someone else navigate it. The same way you had to fight to get your
degree, you’ll have to fight even harder to find your place in the "real world". Oh yeah, start a savings account. You'll need it.
And last, but not least, do not put deadlines on your life.
Don’t stress yourself out because you aren’t living in a condo in NYC by age
25. We’ve been trained to think we have to set all these unrealistic goals by a
certain age in order to be “successful”. Five years from now, you won’t even
wanna move to New York. It sounds crazy now, but trust me on this. Be thankful
for the things you have and continue to work for the things you want.
Last thing, don’t become complacent, because that’s not who
you are. Be good to yourself and stay encouraged.