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Is It Time To Leave My Dead End Job?
Posted on August 25, 2016

When you can't focus on your work or the concern for your performance stats start to dwindle, it may be time to move on. It's hard to pull away because I've invested 2.5 years into a place and I’ve seen no advancement.

I have benefits and paid time off stacked up, but is that worth staying? Being underpaid, unfulfilled and feeling stagnant has been my frame of mind for some time now. I worked in my first department for the first two years and I hated it. I interviewed and got offered a position 8 months ago and took it. It was a lateral move and I vowed to never make a lateral move, but I was desperate. The moral of the department was low. Management wasn’t consistent, favoritism was shown constantly and I was tired of being stressed.

Fast forward to eight months later and I’m starting to feel the same way I did in my previous department, stagnant and drained. My boss is fair, so management isn’t the problem. It’s just me. I stopped eating lunch with my coworkers a few weeks ago and decided to eat lunch solo. My attitude hasn’t been the best and we’re not on the same page regarding our long term goals so instead of trying to explain myself to people I’m not close too, I’ve opted to eat solo and read or write. I figured that’s the least I can do during my time at that place.

I wrote this while I should’ve been focusing on my work, but I had to get this off my chest because it's been bothering me for a while. If I'm not using my degree at my current company now, it'll probably be another two or three years before I do and I don't have any more time waste. Sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses, take what you've learned and prepare to move on.  We all have bills, student loan payments and car payments to think about, but I’m starting to worry about my mental health. I’m already miserable when I’m there. I don’t want to become depressed.

While I’m at work, I’m thinking about everything else except the task at hand and it’s exhausting. I’ve thought about sticking it out until after I return from my fall trips to start job hunting again, but the thought of being there another two months is exhausting.

Between that and having to put things on hold because I don’t get paid enough, it makes me want to give up. I’m starting to feel like I did when I turned 25, except I have a job and my own place this time. Honestly, the only thing keeping me hopeful is the fact that I don’t live with my mom anymore and I have a place of my own so I don’t have to answer to anyone or be cramped up in one bedroom with all my belongings. Being back home for five years has helped me figure some things out, but I’m ready to grow more. 

It’s so hard to get caught up in the whirlwind of having to find a job, no matter how much it sucks, just so your bills can get paid.

I just have to hold on to the hope of there being a light at the end of the tunnel and doing things that make me happy to get through this. If you’re in a similar decision, I encourage you to do the same.


Letter To My Younger Self
Posted on August 13, 2016

August 13, 2006 (Age 18)

So you’re done with high school and you’re starting college in a week. I know you wanted to go away for school, but you have some maturing to do. You’ll get to leave, I promise. You may feel stagnant sometimes and things might get tough, but you’ll get through it. Besides, you’ll be busy as hell three years from now in a totally different environment. All of this is temporary. Just knock these prerequisites out and keep it moving.

August 13, 2011 (Age 23)

Well, you did it. You graduated from college. You thought the day would never come, but it’s here! You were a totally different person when you came to TSU at 20-years-old, but you’ve learned valuable lessons and made lifelong friends in the process. When you think of this place, think about what it took for you to get here and never take it for granted. You gained much more than a degree.

Even though you matured and learned a lot about yourself, college was still a safety net. It’s gonna be scary and stressful trying to figure out what’s next, but do yourself a favor and relax. Listen to Dad. He may sound insensitive now, but you need to go home. You didn’t have a plan mapped out for post-graduation so the best thing you you to do is go home. Go home and enjoy not having to do anything for the first time in five years. You’ll be able to eat home cooked meals again and the days of sleeping in an extra large twin bed and dragging your clothes to the laundry room across the complex to wash clothes are done! Appreciate the little things.

Be prepared for growing pains. Be prepared to feel lost. You’re gonna argue with Mom and Dad because parents don’t get it. Take everything as a lesson and apply it in the future so you know how to navigate it or help someone else navigate it. The same way you had to fight to get your degree, you’ll have to fight even harder for a career. Start a savings account.

And last, but not least, do not put deadlines on your life. Don’t stress yourself out because you aren’t living in a condo in NYC by age 25. We’ve been trained to think we have to set all these unrealistic goals by a certain age in order to be “successful”. Five years from now, you won’t even wanna move to New York. It sounds crazy now, but trust me on this. Be thankful for the things you have and continue to work for the things you want.

Last thing, don’t become complacent, because that’s not who you are. Be good to yourself and stay encouraged.

Love, Jaida

Be Intentional In 2016
Posted on January 16, 2016

So here we are with an update – six months later I’m terrible, I know. As if I wasn’t already a slacker, the last five months of 2015 had me all over the place and overwhelmed, but here I am and happy new year! I hope the first couple of weeks of 2016 have been good to you. They’ve been okay and I feel a lot more driven this time around. I know in the past I’ve said that this year would be “the year” that I did this and did that, but I’m not gonna do that this year because it hasn’t been effective thus far.

I’m a procrastinator who gets so overwhelmed at the thought of all the things I want to do that I end up doing nothing at all. Simply put, I want to put an end to that this year. I acknowledge that I suck at resolutions so I chose to stray away from that this year. I wrote out my goals for the year, big and small. Things such as using my library card and drinking more water are things I want to do.

(By the way, I’m participating in the Goodreads 2016 Reading Challenge. Feel free to follow me here. I’m open to reading suggestions! I’m almost finished with #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso. Next up is, Leave Your Mark by Aliza Licht.

I also have major goals, but I’ve chosen not to speak on them out loud. I’d just rather work towards them little by little. My friend pointed out making monthly goals for herself instead since she doesn’t do well with long-term goals. I’ve decided to give that a try. Because I get overwhelmed to the point of not doing anything at all, I’ve decided baby steps are better than no steps at all. You have to start somewhere. I realized that if you sit idly waiting for the “right time” to do something, you’ll be waiting forever.

“Don’t talk about it, be about it” is the mantra for my life this year. Too much talking and complaining won’t get you very far. Believe me, I know firsthand.

I really had an epiphany during the last week of 2015 and it got my gears turning. All I really want is to be intentional with my actions this year so that I can grow as a person. Try not to get caught up in social media. Some of it’s real, some of it isn’t. It’s so hard not to compare yourself to friends and peers when you see people getting promotions and taking trips to the Dominican Republic.

I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t do it! Been there, done that. It doesn’t do you any good. Besides, I got my passport last April and it’s valid for 10 years. I’ve got plenty of time to stamp it up. Baby steps sis, baby steps.

While I’m not working on being intentional and purposeful, I like to run my mouth on social media. You can catch me on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr.

What are some ways you go about accomplishing or tracking your goals? I’d love to know! Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section or leave me a tweet or comment on the ‘Gram.

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Relax, Relate, Release
Posted on July 5, 2015

I’ve fell victim to seeing what other people were doing and admiring it, but getting discouraged all at the same time because I didn’t feel like I had what it took to be successful.

For a while, I didn’t wanna write anymore. I didn’t wanna be a journalist anymore. I didn’t want any part of it anymore. I wanted a workaround instead. I’ve been overwhelmed, stressed and discouraged and I’ve allowed it to get in the way of something that I’ve always wanted to do.

It’s part of the reason while I’ve been going back and forth about grad school for the last three years. It’s also part of the reason why my blog isn’t where I would like it to be. I’ve allowed my fear to psych me out. I’ve allowed my full-time job to be the priority and doing nothing when I get home every night. While I’m trying to find out where to go next, I’ve put this space on the back burner.

I never feel like what I have to say is relevant enough to speak on. I just didn’t want to be another cliché blogger with a bunch of cliché think pieces and other crap I don’t care about for site traffic. Yeah, I want site traffic, but I want it for the right reasons. I want people to come here and be able to relate. I want people to come here and leave with gems. 

There’s nothing wrong with working a 9-5. Hell, I work a 9-5 right now, but I don’t want that to be my story.

I figured out my passion when I was 16-years-old and I thought it would come to fruition by the time I graduated from college. Well, shit happens. It all depends on how you handle what life throws at you. I’ve known this all along, and I can give other people the sermon, but when it comes to myself, I come up empty. It’s time that I practice what I preach. I know what I’m capable of and it's time to get to work.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Ghandi

It may be cliché, but it’s true. I won’t know until I try. If I look up and years have gone by and I sit wondering about what I could’ve done and should’ve done, I’ll never forgive myself. I looked at my post from New Year’s Day and shook my head because the year is halfway over and I’ve got nothing to show for it. I’ve still got time to make 2015 count so I’m going to do all I can to make better use of my free time.

I don’t know where this is gonna lead me or how it will turn out. I don’t know if the people that claim they support me will actually support me. I just have to have faith in myself, go with my gut and do it. I’ve been doubted in the past. I’ve been told what I shouldn’t do or couldn’t do, but I did it anyway.

I’m scared of the outcome, but I’ll never know if I don’t put forth the effort to be better.
It’s time to be brave and stop talking about my dreams and doing all I can to make it a reality. It's so hard to get down when you see your peers doing well and you feel stuck. I've allowed that to hold me back for too long and I've decided to put an end to it. If they can do it, I can do it. Do it in your own time. Do it because will make you a better person. Everyone loves recognition, but don't do it solely for recognition. Do it because it's something you believe in. 

To those of you who read my little ol’ blog, thank you. To those of you who have given me words of encouragement, thank you.

I’m not big on posting every little thing I’m thinking or doing online, but just know that you can expect change around here.

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True Life: I Met My Fave On Valentine's Day
Posted on February 17, 2015

I'll be honest, I was ready for the day to come and go after all the hoopla surrounding the pushback of tour dates and the stress of finding shoes and just figuring out everything for the actual day. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I'm particular about things so I just wanted it to be an awesome day. The day of was nerve wrecking because Live Nation is awful and they need not ever handle meet & greets again. It was rushed and I wish I could've had a little bit more time, but I'm still grateful and elated that I got to meet them. Everybody who knows me personally and is close to me knows the love I've had for Christopher Maurice Brown since the very beginning. I also adore Trey and I'm proud of how far he's come.

I admit Chris has had his struggles and he's not perfect by any means, but he's human. A very talented human that I've followed since the very beginning. I've always found it inspiring to watch someone come from a town of 2,000 people become an international star. It was all so surreal, but I'm so glad I got to meet him and Trey. I've supported both of them since the very beginning of their careers and it's crazy how it came full circle. They're both on their sixth albums, they both came on the scene in 2005 and here we are 10 years later and they're on tour together and I got to meet them both on Valentine's Day. It was just an awesome experience and I'd do it all over again minus the Live Nation crap. They're both sweethearts and I'm grateful I got to meet them. I always thought about what would happen if I ever met them, and surprisingly I wasn't nervous at all.

Here's how the conversation went:

CB: Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoy the show and I better see you turnin' up!

Me to them: I fuck with y'all! I didn't know what I was gonna say when I came in here, but I really fuck with y'all!

Trey: She really fucks with us! 

Then Christopher proceeded to high five me with both hands andddddd my life was made.

I was nervous to do a persuasive speech in public speaking class in college, but I met artists that I adore and there wasn't an ounce of nervousness in my body. Maybe it's because we're close in age and it's almost like I've grown up with them over the last 10 years through their music. Either way, it was awesome. Chris gave me a high five. With both hands. He's so freaking awesome and I wish more people saw him in that light. I'm one of the first to talk about his shortcomings, but he's extremely talented and he's brought a lot of people together. I've formed friendships with people all over the place because of him.

Who needs a valentine when you met your favorite artist and watch them perform from second row? NOT I!

The Umpteenth Health & Fitness Journey
Posted on February 3, 2015

I'm actually going to the gym after work instead of coming home and piling up in my bed to watch 90s sitcoms on TVOne. Now, it hasn't been extremely consistent yet (two days in a row tops), but it's a start. I feel like I'm doing something. I feel bad when I eat junk, so I guess it's working. This is actually a huge step for me considering the paranoia I've felt about working out. The most I would do is walk around my complex for 30 minutes after work (in spring, of course). I'm actually taking a major step and I'm proud of myself.

I'm making it my mission to take action in 2015 and I think I'm off to a decent start. My eating habits have changed drastically since I've graduated from college, but there's always room for improvement. Exercise has been my biggest struggle, so I'm currently trying to find a routine that works for me so that I can get in the groove of things.

Pinterest and Tumblr have been my motivation and it's a good way to start your own health and fitness journey. You can literally find any and everything there; healthy recipes, workout tips, etc. Feel free to follow my Pinterest board or Tumblr page for inspiration. My random free subscription to Fitness Magazine has been pretty helpful too.

Once I get a weekly routine down and add to my workout playlist, I'll be all set. I don't plan on posting pictures on social media or anything, but I may talk about some things here or just share what I'm doing on Tumblr. Pray for me! No really, pray for me.

P.S. Spaghetti squash might be my new favorite. 


Hi, 2015.
Posted on January 1, 2015

I have no complaints about 2014 and I'm grateful for everything that has happened in the last 365 days, but I really want to make this year about focus, initiative, and execution. I have a good feeling about it, and I intend to follow through with my promise to myself (and my close friends so they don't cuss me out). I'm getting closer to the big 3-0 and I'm trying to cross my t's and dot my i's.

Less excuses, more effort. I've learned that if you sit idly and watch other people make moves instead of making moves of your own, you'll grow old and wonder about the shoulda coulda wouldas. I learned that lesson in 2014 and it's really time to put up or shut up. I'm feeling inspired and encouraged from all the great things that have happened to all the awesome people that I know and now is the time to make sure some of that greatness is passed my way.

I doubt that I'll be exactly where I wanna be by this time next year, but taking steps to get there is better than taking none.

I don't know where 2015 is gonna lead me, but I'm looking forward to the journey. Here's to prosperity, peace, and last but not least, happiness.

Shoot, a little travel, a little weight loss, and a few more coins ain't never hurt nobody!


MOTC makes Twenties Unscripted's 50 Blogs to Take Into 2015
Posted on December 30, 2014

I'm seriously humbled and honored to have been mentioned in Tyece's list and I encourage everyone to visit her blog here and check out all the other awesome women she featured. You can never have enough reading material. Go get you a piece!

P.S. Look out for some changes around here next year!

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Leave Ariana Alone!
Posted on October 18, 2014

Ariana Grande is an amazing talent. The moment I saw her singing over a Big Pun sample, the moment I watched a video of her rendition of Emotions by none other than Queen Mariah, I was sold. The girl has pipes! Her music is awesome too, but a lot of people focus more on her appearance than her talent. She just turned 21 this summer and she got her career started on a Nickelodeon show.

I've seen a lot of people refer to her as a "little girl", and claim she needs to "grow up" before they can take her seriously solely based on the way that she dresses. 

In a society where women are scrutinized and expected to be sexy and thin, it bothers me to see other women bash Ariana for her appearance. She may not have long legs or wear a C-cup, but she's gorgeous in her own way. Ariana seems to have a sweet spirit and she's uber talented, but people skip over all of that just to talk about her appearance. Some of the very same women who preach about not appeasing the male gaze rag on Ariana's appearance; including women I know. I need all of the pots calling the kettle black to realize you contribute to the misogyny and patriarchy in today's society too. 

She's a childhood star and she's only 21, so of course she's going to explore her womanhood. God forbid any of you have daughters or sisters of your own. Everybody isn't gonna be comfortable being "sexy", so let them be! 

I would rather Ariana rock her ponytail with her crop tops and skater skirts and blow me away with her amazing voice than watch her conform for the sake of pleasing people who wouldn't support her talent anyway. 

If you're one of those women who declare, "girl power" just to turn around and downgrade women for not dressing "grown" or "sexy" enough, you're part of the problem and you might as well find a seat at the table with all the boys and men who do the same thing.

Self-esteem issues were serious when I was a kid, but these kids have it ten times worse with cyber bullying, and the pressure of wanting to grow up too fast. Ariana may serve as an inspiration to some of these kids to let them know that you can do whatever you want to do and not have to change yourself to be successful. It may sound cliche, but it's true. If you think about it, a lot of popular artists have had major success and they didn't have a seat at the "cool kids" table starting out. They just did what felt comfortable to them. 

Leave Ariana alone and worry about your own damn insecurities before you start picking other people's lives apart. Pleasantries. 


Just a 20-somethin' trying to find my way and be great.
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