Posted on October 18, 2014
Ariana Grande is an amazing talent. The moment I saw her singing
over a Big Pun sample, the moment I watched a video of her rendition of
Emotions by none other than Queen Mariah, I was sold. The girl has pipes! Her
music is awesome too, but a lot of people focus more on her appearance than her
talent. She just turned 21 this summer and she got her career started on a
I've seen a lot of people refer to her as a "little
girl", and claim she needs to "grow up" before they can take her
seriously solely based on the way that she dresses.
In a society where women are scrutinized to be sexy and thin, it
bothers me to see other women bash Ariana for her appearance. She may not have
long legs or wear a C-cup, but she's gorgeous in her own way. Ariana seems to
have a sweet spirit and she's uber talented, but people skip over all of that
just to talk about her appearance. The very same women who preach about not
appeasing the male gaze rag on Ariana's appearance; including women I know. I
need all of the pots calling the kettle black to find the nearest seat and
realize you're part of the problem.
You contribute to the misogyny and patriarchy just as much as a
man does when you make the very same comments some men do.
She's a childhood star and she's only 21, so of course she's going
to explore her womanhood. God forbid any of you have daughters or sisters of
your own. Everybody isn't gonna be comfortable in being "sexy", so
leave 'em be! I would be interested in seeing how some of you handled
I would rather Ariana wear that ponytail with her little crop tops
and skater skirts and blow me away with that voice than see her attempt to be
somebody she's not for the sake of pleasing people who aren't supporting her
If you're one of those women screaming, "Girl power" and
claiming feminism then turn around to downgrade women for not dressing
"grown enough", you're part of the problem and you might as well find
a seat at the table with all the boys and men who do the same thing. You're no
better. If anything, you're worse and I'd hate to see how some of you react if
the tables were turned.
Self-esteem issues were serious when I was a kid, but these kids
have it ten times worse with cyberbullying, and the age old demon of needing to
grow up too fast. Ariana may serve as an inspiration to some of these kids
to let them know that you can do whatever you want to do and not have to change
yourself to fit in. It may sound cliche, but it's true. She's living proof. If
you think about it, a lot of artists have had major success because they
weren't part of the "norm"; Kanye West, Drake, Michael Jackson, and
so on. It's no wonder so many celebrities have mental breakdowns due to the
constant nitpicking and criticism.
Leave people alone and worry about your own damn insecurities
before you start picking other people's lives apart. Pleasantries.
Posted on September 11, 2014
I'm Like A Bird x Nelly Furtado. Circa 2000.
Labels: Throwback Thursday
Posted on September 4, 2014
Because it's B'day. She was 22 in this video. That's mind blowing. Happy 33rd, Motha!
Me, Myself And I x Beyoncé. Circa 2003.
Labels: Music, Throwback Thursday
Posted on August 14, 2014
It's been three years since I officially purchased
this domain. I bought it the day after I graduated from college and
coincidentally on my sister's 21st birthday. I was officially a college graduate
and I wanted to begin my own brand and solidify that before someone else
grabbed it up so I made the move and I'm glad I did. I recently thought about switching the name, but after thinking it over
and talking to a couple of my fellow bloggers, I really believe MOTC represents me.
I initially started this blog in 2010 to talk about
beauty and fashion (and I still will), but it's also grown to become sort of
like an online journal for me to express my thoughts and various interests. Over the past couple of weeks, I've really been thinking about my
life and what I need to do to get to the next level and I really want to put my
all into this little space. It may not be much compared to others' sites, but I
want to utilize it to share who I am and what I'm passionate about as a 20-somethin' trying to find my way in addition to the things I enjoy.
I decided to toss the whole 'stick-to-a-niche'
thing out the window long ago, because I would be doing a huge
disservice to myself if I chose to limit myself to one or two things for the
sake of site traffic. I love beauty and fashion, I love
music, I love talking about how awesome Black women are, and I love writing
even though my posts
are sporadic. I want to continue to use this space as a platform for those
who are like me; who may not know what they wanna do in life, who challenge
traditional gender roles, or just want to rave about how awesome Beyoncé is. MOTC
is my baby and I vow to take steps towards sharing and most importantly,
growing as a brand and as a woman.
I wanna a
give a shoutout and thank you to my fellow blogger friends who read my sporadic
posts, encourage me and most of all in believe me. Yetti, Kimberly,
Shenequa and Tyece,
you girls are everything. I aspire to be as awesome as the four of you.
And last but not least, a big thank you to everyone whose ever read a post, commented, or anything. Your support is everything and it really does keep me motivated when I feel like throwing in the towel.
I wouldn't call this 'blogaversary' a celebration, it's more of a reflection for me. I just hope my 4th, 5th, and so on will be one for the books.
Here's to celebratory blogaversaries in the future!
- Jai <3 p="">3>
Labels: Lifestyle, Misc
Posted on July 30, 2014
This song is important. The video is even more important. I'm so glad we finally got a visual for this song. It oozes Girl Power/Black Girl Anthem. Only thing that was missing was Solo, but I still love it. The fact that she paid homage to HBCU culture, Janelle's hair, the T.I. cameo... LOVE!
Posted on July 23, 2014
isn’t a foreign concept. It’s been going on for generations. Some refer to it
as “playing house”, others like to call it “shacking up”. I call it a “Hell
Nah” and here’s why.
I’m an introvert and I
like being alone. A lot. I enjoy getting together with my friends every now and
then and my weekend shopping trips with my mom, but I like my alone time. I
need my space. I enjoy lounging in my pajamas, watching Golden Girls on DVD or
having an impromptu jam session, party of one.
I hate when people touch
my belongings without my permission. I like when things are done a certain way,
but most of all, I don’t deal well with uncertainty.
I’ve never been the type
to leap into anything haphazardly. I like to go with the flow, but I also like
to plan. Until I’ve met “the one” and we’ve known each other for some time and
plan on being married, I can’t ever see myself living with my future significant
It has nothing to do with
religious beliefs and everything to do with privacy and security. Some people
live together because it works for them and their relationship while others do
it for the sake of getting help with the bills. If the relationship doesn’t
work out, then what happens? If Ricky can’t come up with his part of the rent,
what am I supposed to do?
I’d like to think I’m a
modern-day woman with an open mind, but that’s one thing I can’t get down with.
It’s just not for me. I realize no relationship is perfect, but that’s not a
risk I’m willing to take. Sorry, not sorry.
One's living arrangement
is none of business if it doesn't pertain to my own, but I personally can't see
myself splitting the bills with someone unless marriage is involved.
At this point, I don't even
want a roommate if I can help it. I did it in college for two and half years
and that was enough. I would prefer my own space to do what I want and not have
to consider someone else's feelings or preferences. Once I move out on my own,
I’ll know for sure that bills or paid or if I’m craving a bowl of Talenti
gelato when I get home from work, it’ll be in the freezer where I left it.
It almost reminds me of the
days I shared a room with my sister when we were kids and I absolutely hated
that. There’s nothing like being alone in my own space. On those rainy fall
nights, I like to sit in the dark with my window up, burn a pineapple mango
candle, put my iPod on shuffle and chill. No worries, no interruptions.
God forbid I ever get
married, I don’t know what I’m gonna do then. In the meantime, I’ll just enjoy
my candle collections, iPod on shuffle and Golden
Girls DVD collection.
Do you live with your significant other or are you
contemplating moving in together? How does it work for you and your
relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Labels: Lifestyle, Relationship
Posted on July 6, 2014
One day, I jokingly asked
my co-workers if it was time to go (one, I was getting over a summer
cold and two, I really was ready to go).
Then out of the blue, my
co-worker hit me with, “It’s starting to sound like you don’t like your job.”
Just because I say I'm
tired and I'm ready to go home doesn't mean I don't like my job. I already
dedicate 40 hours a week of my life to that place. I don't eat, sleep and
breathe for my company or paycheck. I’m grateful for gainful employment and
benefits, but I enjoy my free time more. I’m not saying I don't wanna make money,
but I'm not gonna break my neck or bend over backwards to do something I don't
enjoy. I think my job is cool, but that's just it. It's a job. I’m
on a pursuit to find a career and use my skills
and $40,000 degree if
I admire and envy my peers
who are able to travel frequently while I'm stuck at home trying to save up
enough paid time off just to take a weekend trip. I can't wait until I can travel
and meet all the amazing people I’ve met through social media because of mutual
interests we all share.
I'm single. I don't have a
family to provide for so my every waking moment isn't worried about working
overtime to add a few extra coins to my paycheck every two weeks. So many
people get caught up in the cycle of working nonstop for nothing. After you've
worked 60 hours a week trying to fatten your paycheck to pay bills, then
what? Money is great, but I crave fulfillment. I need it.
I may not ever have my
"dream job", but whatever I decide to do for a living in the
next year or however long, I want to enjoy it. I want to make a difference. I
want things to be on my terms. I want my skills and interests to play a
part in whatever I do.
Working fulltime while
trying to find the time and energy to put your all into something you believe
in is already difficult. I have a lot of living to do, but I’ll be damned if I
waste most of it “grinding” for the sake of a few extra dollars on my paycheck.
Holla at me about overtime
when it comes to something I actually have an interest in, because entry-level
employment won’t be the move forever.
Labels: Career, Lifestyle
Posted on May 21, 2014
Tyece and I had a brief conversation on
Twitter about being the youngest associate in the workplace and being
underestimated and patronized. Sometimes I swear she's in my head because she
always hits the nail on the head, but this is something I've struggled with
over the past five or six months as one of the youngest associates in the
office. I'm in my mid-20s, single, no children. I'm still trying to find my
place in the world and get situated to where I can grow and be the best person
I can be.
I often shy away from having conversations with certain co-workers
because a lot of them are older and judging by their response on certain
topics, they come off jealous or bitter. I'm not here to brag about my
education or walk around with my nose in the air by any means. I've had to
overcome things in my lifetime, but I don't believe in sharing my life story
with the public for the sake of defending who I am and how I am. If you really
know me, you know the deal. If you don't know me, you'll never know. I've been
blessed with an amazing support system along the way. My parents were
relatively young and they didn't have the "perfect" childhoods, but
they did what they could to make sure me and my sister were raised right.
I've never had to deal with being patronized or disregarded
because of my age until I started working at my current company. Maybe it's
because I used to work with a lot of people around my age and I'm my parents'
oldest child so I've always been the oldest or amongst peers most of my life. I
shy away from discussing career goals with certain co-workers because they seem
to have a crab-in-a-barrel mentality about things. I can tell that some have
gotten complacent with where they are in life. To be quite frank, that isn't my
problem. In life, people make choices and right now, I'm making the choice to
do my best to progress. My worst fear after death is being miserable and
I don't want to miss out, look back over my life filled with
regret because I decided to sit around and just take what was given.
Just because some of them have decided to stick to what's safe and
comfortable doesn't mean I have to do the same. Sometimes I also feel like it's
a subliminal way of them not wanting me to do better than them. My manger and supervisor
are great and I'm thankful for that. I've never had issues in that department,
but some of my co-workers allow our place of employment to stress them out and
worry them. That's not my MO. Once I clock out, I'm done with work-related
issues. I don't bring it home with me. I refuse to.
For one, I don't get paid enough for that. Two, if I'm going to be
stressed, I'd rather be stressed over something I'm passionate about. Don't get
me wrong, I'm grateful for where I am right now, but I really believe there is
more in store for me. I don't know what, where or when, but I'm on the quest to
figure that out.
My parents have known me all my life and I'm their child, but they
still respect my views and opinions. At the end of the day, you have to do what
makes you happy. You're going to be able to share your joy with everybody and
you may not always have a cheerleader. Some people will root for you while
others dismiss you because of their own unhappiness.
Don't invite that type of energy into your life. Life is all
about choices. Choose your path the way you see fit.