My life has been very 'blah' lately. Eight months post-graduation and about a month away from my 24th birthday, I'm getting a little nervous and scared. I've always been an optimistic person and I think that's what's gotten me this far, but to be completely honest, I'm scared of failure plain and simple. I don't want to be another college graduate who ends up working some dead-end job because of the economy and the competition in my field or because I've become complacent and just gave up my dreams for a job
instead of a career
for the sake of a check. I'm grateful for being able to pay my bills, but it's not enough. It hasn't been that long, but my patience is wearing thin because I have so much I wanna do and I feel like it's gonna take me forever to accomplish it.
I wanna be able to afford my own cozy apartment, buy my first brand new car, take trips, etc., but there's only so much I can do with what I have right now, not to mention coming back home after graduation. It was best that I came home to clear my head and figure out what I wanna do, but to be quite frank, I miss being away from home. That's one of the things I loved about being in school. I'm really making strides to work towards where I wanna be, but I can't lie and say I don't get scared and discouraged. I've wanted to be a journalist since I was 16 years old and I spent 4.5 years of my life in school trying to make that happen, but the (communications) field has flourished tremendously since 2006 when I entered college as a freshman. I'm happy for that considering all the magazines and newspapers that have folded since 2008 so my degree is pretty versatile. It's just a matter of getting my foot in the door.
Being a college grad has its pros and cons. Pros:
You have a degree, you feel accomplished, no more classes and stressing out over projects and exams. Cons:
Bills, student loans, figuring out what you wanna do career-wise and lacking experience to get experience while applying for jobs. It's a very frustrating process, but I want it so bad that I refuse to get up. I intend on getting myself through this just like I got myself through college, but this mini quarter-life crisis isn't helping me because I feel like I should be at a certain point in my life once I turn 25 next year. Sure I'm excited about another year of life, but 25
just sounds like the beginning of the end to me. That's five years
away from 30. Maybe I'm being ridiculous and vain, but I can't help it. Going through college and all the other things I've been through during my 23 years of living has taught me a couple of things: patience, determination and positivity. I just have to continue to tell myself, "This is only temporary. There's more in store for you." I saw this quote and it made me feel a lot better.