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Relax, Relate, Release
Posted on July 5, 2015

I’ve fell victim to seeing what other people were doing and admiring it, but getting discouraged all at the same time because I didn’t feel like I had what it took to be successful.

For a while, I didn’t wanna write anymore. I didn’t wanna be a journalist anymore. I didn’t want any part of it anymore. I wanted a workaround instead. I’ve been overwhelmed, stressed and discouraged and I’ve allowed it to get in the way of something that I’ve always wanted to do.

It’s part of the reason while I’ve been going back and forth about grad school for the last three years. It’s also part of the reason why my blog isn’t where I would like it to be. I’ve allowed my fear to psych me out. I’ve allowed my full-time job to be the priority and doing nothing when I get home every night. While I’m trying to find out where to go next, I’ve put this space on the back burner.

I never feel like what I have to say is relevant enough to speak on. I just didn’t want to be another cliché blogger with a bunch of cliché think pieces and other crap I don’t care about for site traffic. Yeah, I want site traffic, but I want it for the right reasons. I want people to come here and be able to relate. I want people to come here and leave with gems. 

There’s nothing wrong with working a 9-5. Hell, I work a 9-5 right now, but I don’t want that to be my story.

I figured out my passion when I was 16-years-old and I thought it would come to fruition by the time I graduated from college. Well, shit happens. It all depends on how you handle what life throws at you. I’ve known this all along, and I can give other people the sermon, but when it comes to myself, I come up empty. It’s time that I practice what I preach. I know what I’m capable of and it's time to get to work.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Ghandi

It may be cliché, but it’s true. I won’t know until I try. If I look up and years have gone by and I sit wondering about what I could’ve done and should’ve done, I’ll never forgive myself. I looked at my post from New Year’s Day and shook my head because the year is halfway over and I’ve got nothing to show for it. I’ve still got time to make 2015 count so I’m going to do all I can to make better use of my free time.

I don’t know where this is gonna lead me or how it will turn out. I don’t know if the people that claim they support me will actually support me. I just have to have faith in myself, go with my gut and do it. I’ve been doubted in the past. I’ve been told what I shouldn’t do or couldn’t do, but I did it anyway.

I’m scared of the outcome, but I’ll never know if I don’t put forth the effort to be better.
It’s time to be brave and stop talking about my dreams and doing all I can to make it a reality. It's so hard to get down when you see your peers doing well and you feel stuck. I've allowed that to hold me back for too long and I've decided to put an end to it. If they can do it, I can do it. Do it in your own time. Do it because will make you a better person. Everyone loves recognition, but don't do it solely for recognition. Do it because it's something you believe in. 

To those of you who read my little ol’ blog, thank you. To those of you who have given me words of encouragement, thank you.

I’m not big on posting every little thing I’m thinking or doing online, but just know that you can expect change around here.

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Just a 20-somethin' trying to find my way and be great.
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